i was running errands this morning, just driving around town, and i looked up at my rear view mirror, and someone was right on my tail. i mean, waaaaay to close. i hate that. i'm not the best driver, by any means (i have more stupid stories than i care to admit...), but i HATE when people tail me like that. the interstate is one thing, but in town, in 35 mph zone? hello...
so how do i react? well, this would fit in with me not being the best driver.
i usually like to mess with people who drive like idiots. i know, not smart, considering the stories you hear about people chasing other drivers down and going crazy, but sometimes, i just find it hard to resist.
i mean, i'm doing the right thing, just going the speed limit--they're the ones in the wrong...grr...
but i digress.
the real point of this story was not to complain about other peoples' driving, but to share a little insight i had from this experience. as soon as i realized this guy was so close behind me, i couldn't keep my eyes off the rearview mirror. i was appalled, and i kept checking the mirror over and over, thinking that surely, he'd get the hint and back off.
of course, he didn't. he eventually passed me on the right and that was it. but i was still irritated.
the more i thought about it, though, the more i had to ask myself, does this make any sense? i'm totally consumed with what's going on behind me, which really isn't going to affect me, not nearly as much as what's ahead of me for sure. in fact, what's happening behind me really will only affect me as much as i let it. and, since i couldn't keep my eyes off the rearview mirror, the truck behind me was having a lot more of an effect on my driving than it needed to.
but isn't that the way i am with so many things? i keep looking back, keep watching behind me, worrying about other people, things that are outside of my control, things that have already happened and i can't do anything to change, and yet, because i can't take my eyes/mind off of them, i let them continue to affect me.
doesn't make a lot of sense, does it?
i started reading Job today, in the Message, and i'm hoping to get a fresh perspective on this very interesting book. even though i've still got a good 40 chapters to go, i'm already thinking about the ending. he gets everything back, and then some.
how did he handle that? i mean, sheep, etc--that's replaceable, but not people, not your kids. yeah, you can have more kids, as he does, but that doesn't erase the 10 kids he lost in the first chapter of the book.
so, how did Job really feel? how did He trust God the way he did? how did he not get stuck looking back at the past, the rearview mirror of his life and letting that affect his present and future?
lots to think about...
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Monday, January 19, 2009
home is...
so, as promised, pictures from the art project this weekend:
these headboards were given to us by Habitat for Humanity, to decorate however we wanted, in a way that would express what home means to us:
we got the idea to turn them into benches...
and from there, they became works of art!
i can't begin to tell you how excited i am about the way they all turned out, or how proud i am of our students for working so hard and so well together! it's so exciting to think about how this will not only benefit Habitat for Humanity (the benches are going to be auctioned off and the money will go to Habitat), but also how awesome of an experience it was for our students. amazing!
for more pictures of us working on the benches, you can click here
for more info on Lafayette Habitat for Humanity and the Home is Where the Art Is project, click here
these headboards were given to us by Habitat for Humanity, to decorate however we wanted, in a way that would express what home means to us:
we got the idea to turn them into benches...
and from there, they became works of art!
i can't begin to tell you how excited i am about the way they all turned out, or how proud i am of our students for working so hard and so well together! it's so exciting to think about how this will not only benefit Habitat for Humanity (the benches are going to be auctioned off and the money will go to Habitat), but also how awesome of an experience it was for our students. amazing!
for more pictures of us working on the benches, you can click here
for more info on Lafayette Habitat for Humanity and the Home is Where the Art Is project, click here
Sunday, January 18, 2009
decisions
this weekend was quite a lot of fun. very busy with disciple now at church, and especially the art project we did saturday. pictures soon.
i've been thinking about a lot today, but don't have much to say. not yet, at least.
i've been listening to the new Jill Phillips' cd, The Good Things, ever since i bought it a week or so back. this song is called "Any Other Way":
Do you remember that Monday when
The world fell out beneath our feet
Both surprised that we had been
So close to losing everything
Putting one foot in front of the other
felt like such a long, hard step to take
We thought about moving and starting again
But it was something we could never outrun so we just stayed
I wouldn’t have it any other way
I wouldn’t have it any other way
Gaining back the trust we lost
Was harder than just losing it
But if we wanted change at all
The pain was a prerequisite
So little by little, a piece at a time
We were putting back together what was left of a broken life
It wasn’t quick, it wasn’t easy
But that kind of change isn’t one that happens overnight
I wouldn’t have it any other way
I wouldn’t have it any other way
When we first met, love was a feeling
But making it last, that’s a decision
A good decision
When we watch the kids run through the yard
Sometimes I just can’t help but think
That every bit of what it cost
Was worth it for this family
‘cause I wouldn’t have it any other way
I wouldn’t have it any other way
I wouldn’t have it any other way
listen here
the whole song is incredibly powerful, but this one lyric gets me especially:
When we first met, love was a feeling
But making it last, that’s a decision
A good decision
a decision. love. discipline. honesty. integrity. doing the right thing. all decisions. i want so badly to go by what i feel--i'm ruled by my feelings all too often, honestly, but the truth is, when it all comes down, the right thing is often the hardest decision.
i hate that, and yet i know more and more each day that it's so true...
i've been thinking about a lot today, but don't have much to say. not yet, at least.
i've been listening to the new Jill Phillips' cd, The Good Things, ever since i bought it a week or so back. this song is called "Any Other Way":
Do you remember that Monday when
The world fell out beneath our feet
Both surprised that we had been
So close to losing everything
Putting one foot in front of the other
felt like such a long, hard step to take
We thought about moving and starting again
But it was something we could never outrun so we just stayed
I wouldn’t have it any other way
I wouldn’t have it any other way
Gaining back the trust we lost
Was harder than just losing it
But if we wanted change at all
The pain was a prerequisite
So little by little, a piece at a time
We were putting back together what was left of a broken life
It wasn’t quick, it wasn’t easy
But that kind of change isn’t one that happens overnight
I wouldn’t have it any other way
I wouldn’t have it any other way
When we first met, love was a feeling
But making it last, that’s a decision
A good decision
When we watch the kids run through the yard
Sometimes I just can’t help but think
That every bit of what it cost
Was worth it for this family
‘cause I wouldn’t have it any other way
I wouldn’t have it any other way
I wouldn’t have it any other way
listen here
the whole song is incredibly powerful, but this one lyric gets me especially:
When we first met, love was a feeling
But making it last, that’s a decision
A good decision
a decision. love. discipline. honesty. integrity. doing the right thing. all decisions. i want so badly to go by what i feel--i'm ruled by my feelings all too often, honestly, but the truth is, when it all comes down, the right thing is often the hardest decision.
i hate that, and yet i know more and more each day that it's so true...
Thursday, January 15, 2009
knowledge, information, wisdom...
going back to one of the things i mentioned the other day: discipleship, getting practical.
i love some of the discipleship classes i've taken, some of the studies i've done, but really, when i stop and think about it, "taking a discipleship class" really sounds kind of ridiculous.
being discipled, becoming more like Christ, is a lifestyle. right?
i think so--i'm definitely seeing that line up more with my life than the idea that i could take a class and then, "check," got that.
no, not so much.
like i said, i've enjoyed the classes i've taken. enjoyed the conversations and the truths learned, but i find that a lot of that tends to end up as head knowledge for me. i have to take the next step and put it into practice and THEN, there's a chance at it really change my life/daily behavior.
and i guess, that would be the whole point of the class, really. to equip us to take the next step.
but, let's face it. do most of us think of what we learn that way?
and not just in Christian circles--with anything. we've become so over saturated by knowledge that's probably mostly useless on a daily basis that somehow i think we're also starting to file away stuff that would actually be useful along with the useless stuff.
for example, i can google pretty much absolutely anything. tons of useless knowledge out there, and now, i can even get it on the go, just by pulling out my cell phone.
insane, really. but what do i do with that knowledge? does it really make a big difference in my daily life, choices, patterns, habits, character? or is it just fun to know?
honestly, i think i just like to know. i like to get on facebook just to know what other people are up to. 9 times out of 10, i'm not going to message or poke them or anything like that, but if they're eating cereal or watching american idol or picking their nose, well, i'll know, because the info is there.
now, this isn't really a bad thing necessarily. not on its own at least, but what concerns me is, how does this thinking about knowledge and information and wisdom affect my view of things that are good and wise and helpful? does it affect my view of God's word and the role it plays in my life, my daily choices?
hmm...gotta run, but much more to think about with this...
i love some of the discipleship classes i've taken, some of the studies i've done, but really, when i stop and think about it, "taking a discipleship class" really sounds kind of ridiculous.
being discipled, becoming more like Christ, is a lifestyle. right?
i think so--i'm definitely seeing that line up more with my life than the idea that i could take a class and then, "check," got that.
no, not so much.
like i said, i've enjoyed the classes i've taken. enjoyed the conversations and the truths learned, but i find that a lot of that tends to end up as head knowledge for me. i have to take the next step and put it into practice and THEN, there's a chance at it really change my life/daily behavior.
and i guess, that would be the whole point of the class, really. to equip us to take the next step.
but, let's face it. do most of us think of what we learn that way?
and not just in Christian circles--with anything. we've become so over saturated by knowledge that's probably mostly useless on a daily basis that somehow i think we're also starting to file away stuff that would actually be useful along with the useless stuff.
for example, i can google pretty much absolutely anything. tons of useless knowledge out there, and now, i can even get it on the go, just by pulling out my cell phone.
insane, really. but what do i do with that knowledge? does it really make a big difference in my daily life, choices, patterns, habits, character? or is it just fun to know?
honestly, i think i just like to know. i like to get on facebook just to know what other people are up to. 9 times out of 10, i'm not going to message or poke them or anything like that, but if they're eating cereal or watching american idol or picking their nose, well, i'll know, because the info is there.
now, this isn't really a bad thing necessarily. not on its own at least, but what concerns me is, how does this thinking about knowledge and information and wisdom affect my view of things that are good and wise and helpful? does it affect my view of God's word and the role it plays in my life, my daily choices?
hmm...gotta run, but much more to think about with this...
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
matthew 6 and 7 and then some...
i had a lot of thoughts earlier, but my brain is feeling a little fried after a busy (but good) wednesday night up at church.
anyway, this morning i read through matthew 6 and 7 in the Message. this is part of the sermon on the mount, and reading it in the Message is just, well, different. mostly in a very good way. it's kind of like a slap in the face at times, being awakened to things i hadn't seen before in the text because i'm so used to reading them in the same translations.
i used to be fairly hardcore, or maybe just dedicated, to my NIV bible, but as i've started reading from several different translations lately, it's really opened my eyes to little things i hadn't seen before. made the word more fresh, if that makes sense. it was good before, and now, it's even better. i think that's happening a lot for me lately. i was always such an ALWAYS person--i wanted to set everything in stone--i'll always like this, i'll always hate that, i always do it this way, etc.
but now, for some reason, most of my alwayses (if that makes sense) are slipping (or leaping) away, and though it was a little weird at first, i really like it now. flexible, more free, less predictable, etc
anyway, back to matthew 6 and 7. a couple passages that jumped out at me:
6:19-26
19-21"Don't hoard treasure down here where it gets eaten by moths and corroded by rust or—worse!—stolen by burglars. Stockpile treasure in heaven, where it's safe from moth and rust and burglars. It's obvious, isn't it? The place where your treasure is, is the place you will most want to be, and end up being.
22-23"Your eyes are windows into your body. If you open your eyes wide in wonder and belief, your body fills up with light. If you live squinty-eyed in greed and distrust, your body is a dank cellar. If you pull the blinds on your windows, what a dark life you will have!
24"You can't worship two gods at once. Loving one god, you'll end up hating the other. Adoration of one feeds contempt for the other. You can't worship God and Money both.
25-26"If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don't fuss about what's on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds.
this is all about choice: God or what I want, is what it basically boils down to. but how much time do i spend debating, deliberating, whining and calling it praying, etc? how much time do i waste with all this, when what it boils down to is His way or my way? life or death, as it says in Deuteronomy. hard to swallow at first, but very true, the more i think about it.
this is from somewhere in 6:30-33 "What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving."
this pretty much is me in a nutshell--i get so hung up on getting what i want, what i need, what i want God to give me or do, when what He wants is relationship, and the opportunity to respond to Him, not to expect or demand, if that makes sense.
i started thinking, what if i went through life, through each day, not demanding certain things from you, but just living with expectancy, looking forward to seeing You reveal yourself in unexpected places? could that really be possible? i think so, and i think i want to start thinking more this way.
7:12"Here is a simple, rule-of-thumb guide for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you, then grab the initiative and do it for them. Add up God's Law and Prophets and this is what you get.
ah, the golden rule. we all know it, right? but when i read this today, i thought, what if i really lived this way? what if i stopped and thought about things that i love, that make my heart happy, and i just started doing them for others, NOT expecting something in return? and not trying to do them only for people i really like, but for anyone that God put in my path?
that would be a little crazy. but possibly very cool.
so i thought of 2 things to start with: one, physical touch. now, that sounds kind of weird, and it even freaks me out a bit, but i love when someone, in the right moment, gives me a hug or a pat on the back, etc. so what if i got over myself and looked for God given opportunities to do that for others?
and then, asking questions. i love when people really listen and care and ask more than just surface questions. so what if started doing that for others, and really stopping long enough to listen to the answers. that could really change things.
we'll see what happens. more to come...
anyway, this morning i read through matthew 6 and 7 in the Message. this is part of the sermon on the mount, and reading it in the Message is just, well, different. mostly in a very good way. it's kind of like a slap in the face at times, being awakened to things i hadn't seen before in the text because i'm so used to reading them in the same translations.
i used to be fairly hardcore, or maybe just dedicated, to my NIV bible, but as i've started reading from several different translations lately, it's really opened my eyes to little things i hadn't seen before. made the word more fresh, if that makes sense. it was good before, and now, it's even better. i think that's happening a lot for me lately. i was always such an ALWAYS person--i wanted to set everything in stone--i'll always like this, i'll always hate that, i always do it this way, etc.
but now, for some reason, most of my alwayses (if that makes sense) are slipping (or leaping) away, and though it was a little weird at first, i really like it now. flexible, more free, less predictable, etc
anyway, back to matthew 6 and 7. a couple passages that jumped out at me:
6:19-26
19-21"Don't hoard treasure down here where it gets eaten by moths and corroded by rust or—worse!—stolen by burglars. Stockpile treasure in heaven, where it's safe from moth and rust and burglars. It's obvious, isn't it? The place where your treasure is, is the place you will most want to be, and end up being.
22-23"Your eyes are windows into your body. If you open your eyes wide in wonder and belief, your body fills up with light. If you live squinty-eyed in greed and distrust, your body is a dank cellar. If you pull the blinds on your windows, what a dark life you will have!
24"You can't worship two gods at once. Loving one god, you'll end up hating the other. Adoration of one feeds contempt for the other. You can't worship God and Money both.
25-26"If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don't fuss about what's on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds.
this is all about choice: God or what I want, is what it basically boils down to. but how much time do i spend debating, deliberating, whining and calling it praying, etc? how much time do i waste with all this, when what it boils down to is His way or my way? life or death, as it says in Deuteronomy. hard to swallow at first, but very true, the more i think about it.
this is from somewhere in 6:30-33 "What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving."
this pretty much is me in a nutshell--i get so hung up on getting what i want, what i need, what i want God to give me or do, when what He wants is relationship, and the opportunity to respond to Him, not to expect or demand, if that makes sense.
i started thinking, what if i went through life, through each day, not demanding certain things from you, but just living with expectancy, looking forward to seeing You reveal yourself in unexpected places? could that really be possible? i think so, and i think i want to start thinking more this way.
7:12"Here is a simple, rule-of-thumb guide for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you, then grab the initiative and do it for them. Add up God's Law and Prophets and this is what you get.
ah, the golden rule. we all know it, right? but when i read this today, i thought, what if i really lived this way? what if i stopped and thought about things that i love, that make my heart happy, and i just started doing them for others, NOT expecting something in return? and not trying to do them only for people i really like, but for anyone that God put in my path?
that would be a little crazy. but possibly very cool.
so i thought of 2 things to start with: one, physical touch. now, that sounds kind of weird, and it even freaks me out a bit, but i love when someone, in the right moment, gives me a hug or a pat on the back, etc. so what if i got over myself and looked for God given opportunities to do that for others?
and then, asking questions. i love when people really listen and care and ask more than just surface questions. so what if started doing that for others, and really stopping long enough to listen to the answers. that could really change things.
we'll see what happens. more to come...
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
answers
today i swam for almost an hour. it was insane, and yet, so awesome. i walked home from the gym feeling so alive and full and hungry and great. it was fabulous.
i love how God answers prayer in the most surprising and fun ways.
here's the backstory: a while back, i was walking to the gym and whining to God, basically feeling sorry for myself. whoa is me, i'm so lonely and sad and blah blah bad day etc.
not my best moment.
i didn't have any expectations at that point--just knew i needed to work out and try to get back into somewhat of a schedule.
but that's when the most random and surprising thing happened.
after i'd worked out, i ended up talking to one of the trainers. i'd seen her and some other women running outside, and i was like, what were you all up to? so she proceeded to tell me about this mini triathalon thing they're training for, and invited me to join them. two times a week, swimming, running, biking, small group, discipline, etc. i was like, hmm, sounds good, let me think about that.
and as i walked home a few minutes later, all the pieces started fitting together and the light bulbs going off.
what i'd been whining about before was wanting to connect with other people, build relationships, feel like life is a bit more meaningful, get better about exercising, have a more set schedule and be more disciplined. and then BAM, somehow, He works out all the details in one conversation?
hello!
to say God is good feels like an understatement at moments like this. any way i could try to describe Him feels totally inadequate. it's just, wow. seriously?
thank You, Father, for taking care of the details like this. for caring so much about the little things of my life and weaving them together in such amazing and surprising ways.
so, swimming today was rough, but good. and i'm looking forward to more of it. thank You, Dad.
i love You, and more today...
i love how God answers prayer in the most surprising and fun ways.
here's the backstory: a while back, i was walking to the gym and whining to God, basically feeling sorry for myself. whoa is me, i'm so lonely and sad and blah blah bad day etc.
not my best moment.
i didn't have any expectations at that point--just knew i needed to work out and try to get back into somewhat of a schedule.
but that's when the most random and surprising thing happened.
after i'd worked out, i ended up talking to one of the trainers. i'd seen her and some other women running outside, and i was like, what were you all up to? so she proceeded to tell me about this mini triathalon thing they're training for, and invited me to join them. two times a week, swimming, running, biking, small group, discipline, etc. i was like, hmm, sounds good, let me think about that.
and as i walked home a few minutes later, all the pieces started fitting together and the light bulbs going off.
what i'd been whining about before was wanting to connect with other people, build relationships, feel like life is a bit more meaningful, get better about exercising, have a more set schedule and be more disciplined. and then BAM, somehow, He works out all the details in one conversation?
hello!
to say God is good feels like an understatement at moments like this. any way i could try to describe Him feels totally inadequate. it's just, wow. seriously?
thank You, Father, for taking care of the details like this. for caring so much about the little things of my life and weaving them together in such amazing and surprising ways.
so, swimming today was rough, but good. and i'm looking forward to more of it. thank You, Dad.
i love You, and more today...
Monday, January 12, 2009
prayer
i'm feeling pretty hot right now. the office is a little warm, but i'm talking about being angry.
A N G R Y
yeah, definitely.
i love working in church and ministry. but sometimes, i hate working with people.
really.
it's ridiculous.
how are we so self centered?
how are we so crazy that we think we know it all?
that each and every individual one of us is right, and everyone else is wrong?
really?
what?
why do we all want our way? why are we so sure that if it went our way, everything would work so well and be good?
why, basically, are we trying to play God?
really, are we crazy?
i'm probably crazy, too, but also definitely M A D.
argh. i hate that. i hate getting so mad at people, and how bent out of shape that i can be too.
i hate that what i see in them, i see in myself too.
why am i so self centered? so selfish? so sure that if things went my way, everything would work out well? so convinced that i have to have the last word, that i have all the answers?
really? ridiculous.
Lord, PLEASE help me to learn in irritating moments and phone calls like this, to learn to see myself through Your eyes and let you grow me to be more like yourself. to love my friends and enemies and friends who act like enemies and enemies that pretend to be friends.
please, PLEASE, teach me to surrender to You and You alone. Please, have mercy on me, and teach me to love others, regardless of the cost. to love and work with a kingdom perspective.
to let go, let go, let go, and trust You.
amen.
A N G R Y
yeah, definitely.
i love working in church and ministry. but sometimes, i hate working with people.
really.
it's ridiculous.
how are we so self centered?
how are we so crazy that we think we know it all?
that each and every individual one of us is right, and everyone else is wrong?
really?
what?
why do we all want our way? why are we so sure that if it went our way, everything would work so well and be good?
why, basically, are we trying to play God?
really, are we crazy?
i'm probably crazy, too, but also definitely M A D.
argh. i hate that. i hate getting so mad at people, and how bent out of shape that i can be too.
i hate that what i see in them, i see in myself too.
why am i so self centered? so selfish? so sure that if things went my way, everything would work out well? so convinced that i have to have the last word, that i have all the answers?
really? ridiculous.
Lord, PLEASE help me to learn in irritating moments and phone calls like this, to learn to see myself through Your eyes and let you grow me to be more like yourself. to love my friends and enemies and friends who act like enemies and enemies that pretend to be friends.
please, PLEASE, teach me to surrender to You and You alone. Please, have mercy on me, and teach me to love others, regardless of the cost. to love and work with a kingdom perspective.
to let go, let go, let go, and trust You.
amen.
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