Sunday, January 6, 2008


i think this writing day 4 of 300...i've been working on some songs and just writing them in my journal, but here's a blog for fun.

i've been moving these past few days--well, moving, cleaning, etc. i have a new job and now a new apartment, and overall, i'd say things are looking pretty up for the start of 2008.

but moving...ah, so aggravating. i mean, there's a little bit of excitement in the idea of new place and all, but i hate moving. it just makes me realize once again just how much junk i have, and how junky most of it really is. i mean, a lot of it has meaning, or at least it did at sometime (pictures, letters, notes, awards, decorations, old school stuff, etc), but really, what do you do with all that? carry it around in boxes for the rest of my life? i don't know, because it's hard to throw away, but the more i move, the easier it gets to at least want to do something about it.

it also makes me think about all the other baggage i carry around--emotionally, spiritually, etc. it's not always as obvious as my boxes in the attic, and it's a lot more mobile, but the problem is it tends to bog me down the most when i least expect it, when it hits the hardest--bad days, stressful times, etc. and it doesn't really stay boxed up very well either--it just comes spilling out, making this huge mess and making whatever situation i'm in way worse.


baggage. we all have it--some of just have prettier suitcases than others. i think mine are pretty much being held together by duct tape these days.

but the awesome thing is that it doesn't have to stay that way. in fact, jesus gives a pretty simple answer to our baggage issues: give it to Him. in matthew 11:28-30, He says that we can basically trade our baggage for His, and His is light. even easy.

knowing myself and all the other humans i do, that seems hard to imagine. i mean, i know Jesus was God, but He also lived in this crazy messed up baggage filled world for 30+ years, and yet, He traveled light. and for some reason, He offers to not only show us how to do the same, but to help us out by taking our baggage on Himself.

not just another formula to self help and a new cool life, but an offer of relationship, help, journey together, as He carries our load, and we take on His.

light. no U haul needed, spiritually or literally. amen!

Wednesday, January 2, 2008


so, i guess it's technically already jan 2nd, but since i'm still awake, this will count as day one of the at least 300 this year that i'm going to write, if that makes sense...

earlier today i was thinking about comparing people. i was thinking about someone i know, and i caught myself thinking, well, at least i don't do ________, like she does. it kind of caught me off guard, and i thought, who cares? why does that make me better and her worse? but i realized that this was the way i'd been looking at not just her, but pretty much everyone else in my life: better or worse than me--sometimes in a general way, and sometimes based on certain categories or criteria, but basically boiling down to being put somewhere on a scale of what i deem best, worst, and all in between.

for some reason, as i thought about writing about this, i decided to find a picture on google that might add to or help express this idea of comparing and how messed up i'm realizing it is. but when i googled "comparing people," i didn't really get a lot of great pictures, so i thought i'd try "judging people."

those are just a couple that came up, but overall they were the same: negative, uncomfortable, mean even.

judging, comparing--i think judging probably sounds worse, but really, they're pretty much the same thing, at least in our social interactions. in the dictionary, they don't really have that similar of definitions--comparing sounds more positive--so maybe it's really judging that i mean more when i think of this negative behavior.

i don't know, because what i see myself doing is looking at what i like and dislike about myself, and then trying to measure that up against other peoples' behaviors and choices and whatnot. i don't know. i haven't really processed it all, but when i thought about this earlier, i thought, this is probably one of the roots of all the mess of society and human nature. categorizing, judging, comparing--whatever you want to call it--this is where we draw lines and pick sides and hurt each other in incredibly stupid and yet deep ways.

i imagine i will have more to come on this as i continue to chew on it...