Wednesday, January 8, 2014


It's January 8th, the second Wednesday of the year. 2014 is still a wee baby, but I, like many Americans, humans, etc, am already facing quite a few set backs on goals and resolutions for the new year. For example, writing. Haven't done that since the weekend. Bike riding? Been waaaaay too cold the past few days (that is a legitimate excuse, I think, especially since my little ski mask things haven't come in yet). Eating just smoothies for lunch and breakfast this week, for a healthy detox? Nope. Made a ton of the super gross smoothies on Sat, with beets and carrots and what not, but have been eating pretty much anything in sight, using the excuse of the surveyor being in at the office and my lack of sleep yesterday from late nights and early mornings. So yeah, I'm sidetracked. There have been a couple of things that I've done ok with on my little check list, like eating carrots every day, and 5 or more vegetables/fruits. And that's all a result of planning ahead. So there's another bright spot for you: planning. Preparing myself, physically and mentally, for what may await me--at work, etc. I tend to do ok with the physical prep--fixing my lunch in advance, setting my alarm to get up, etc--but the mental prep is never so easy. Actually, it's funny, because it really should be even easier. There's no time consuming actions involved. But some how, mental prep almost always seems harder. Or maybe it's more the follow through. I can tell myself 100x to let go, let go, let go--think about different things, don't obsess, don't panic, etc. But the follow through? May be good for a bit, and then a song comes on. A conversation. Anything. Something shifts and all the good intentions are derailed. Sidetracked. I know there is a lot of value in rehearsing things, in mental prep--maybe I'm just not doing it right? Maybe the combo of the two factors isn't getting set up right. Maybe I need to find the right balance of mental and physical prep. Maybe I need to try harder. Those words kind of haunt me. Try harder. Be good enough. Failure. ugh... Maybe my focus is off. On Monday at the leader meeting, we talked about influence vs concern--what you focus on just gets bigger. Definitely need to think about that some more. For tonight, however, I think I've met my goal enough to check writing off my list, so I'm out.

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