Monday, January 5, 2009


this is bound to be cheesy...

i just had a very surprising and sentimental moment, flipping back through my old desk calendar. i bought this calendar in August 2007, and i just got to the end of it (it covered 18 months). i was about to throw it away, but i wanted to make sure there weren't any important numbers, etc on it that i might need.

i didn't really find any such numbers, but i did have this weird sense of unraveling time, walking through the past in reverse for a few moments. looking at lunch meetings, conferences, trips, parties--all sorts of everyday events, and seeing them now through the present instead of the past. very weird.

surprisingly sentimental. but then again, i love putting pieces together and seeing how things fit--like when i met someone, when connections were made, etc, and this was like a mini journey back through all that.

it's especially weird to look at things that i planned (meetings, events, etc) and know that when i wrote them on the calendar, they were in the future, unknown, etc. some turned out great. some blew up in my face. but now i can look back and see them from a totally different perspective, and something about that just feels both so normal and so strange.

are things any clearer than they were then? well, some are. somethings that were totally unknown are now long done and forgotten. other things, things that maybe even seemed insignificant at the time, turned out to be moments that shaped the future--mine and others'.

i love stuff like this. i love seeing God's hand at work, being able to trace it back through my life, and that seems especially significant for this past year and a half.

yeah, fairly cheesy, yes, i know. but sweet too.

so i didn't throw the calendar away. it's under my desk, and i'm sure i'll get annoyed with it and toss it eventually, but i think i need to keep it for a little bit longer.

man, i'm such a sap :)

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