random string of thoughts (somewhat connected...)

i came up to the office with 2 main goals: blog and brainstorm. unfortunately, i'm easily distracted...i should know better by now, but, well...[another goal resolution: stop making excuses!]

lots of things running through my mind, lots of blog ideas, and not enough time (and too many people trying to talk to me on facebook--i really should avoid this thing!)

for future posting:

-being a "yes" man (or woman)
-the single life: the dangers of driving alone
-we are the church
-wisdom, meekness, submitting to God
-disciplship: beyond beth moore--getting practical

right now, i'm going to blog briefly on facebook. oh facebook, how i love/hate you. i love being nosy and knowing what people are up to, and i love the random surprises of, oh, wow you're married! wow, you're having a baby! oh, you broke up!

always fun, though it often feels slightly gossipy...

but i always get overwhelmed--too many people to keep up with, too many messages and posts to respond to, too easy to get really distracted by it. it was all especially great in india, but now, more annoying. esp the chat feature. i always get caught at a bad time, and i feel bad, but i always just want to get off. i find myself wanting to just close the browser and act like my internet connection.

kind of like when i was a kid and i'd hit the phone against the desk and make crackling noises and say, oh, bad connection, gotta go.

haha...like that works. does it? i don't know.

either way, it's dumb. i am the QUEEN of excuses, of putting things off until tomorrow, of all bark and very little bite, talking big and then not following through.

ugh.

dumb.

i don't know why i can get so freaked out and a afaid at times, why i both crave and fear conversation and connection with others. it NEVER fails that anytime i want to talk to people, no one is around, and whenever i'm actually busy, everyone pops up. how does life work that way, really?

who knows...this is me rambling, on a busy sunday afternoon. meeting in 18 minutes and no brainstorming done, but at least i blogged a bit.

sort of :)