rearview

i was running errands this morning, just driving around town, and i looked up at my rear view mirror, and someone was right on my tail. i mean, waaaaay to close. i hate that. i'm not the best driver, by any means (i have more stupid stories than i care to admit...), but i HATE when people tail me like that. the interstate is one thing, but in town, in 35 mph zone? hello...

so how do i react? well, this would fit in with me not being the best driver.

i usually like to mess with people who drive like idiots. i know, not smart, considering the stories you hear about people chasing other drivers down and going crazy, but sometimes, i just find it hard to resist.

i mean, i'm doing the right thing, just going the speed limit--they're the ones in the wrong...grr...

but i digress.

the real point of this story was not to complain about other peoples' driving, but to share a little insight i had from this experience. as soon as i realized this guy was so close behind me, i couldn't keep my eyes off the rearview mirror. i was appalled, and i kept checking the mirror over and over, thinking that surely, he'd get the hint and back off.

of course, he didn't. he eventually passed me on the right and that was it. but i was still irritated.

the more i thought about it, though, the more i had to ask myself, does this make any sense? i'm totally consumed with what's going on behind me, which really isn't going to affect me, not nearly as much as what's ahead of me for sure. in fact, what's happening behind me really will only affect me as much as i let it. and, since i couldn't keep my eyes off the rearview mirror, the truck behind me was having a lot more of an effect on my driving than it needed to.

but isn't that the way i am with so many things? i keep looking back, keep watching behind me, worrying about other people, things that are outside of my control, things that have already happened and i can't do anything to change, and yet, because i can't take my eyes/mind off of them, i let them continue to affect me.

doesn't make a lot of sense, does it?

i started reading Job today, in the Message, and i'm hoping to get a fresh perspective on this very interesting book. even though i've still got a good 40 chapters to go, i'm already thinking about the ending. he gets everything back, and then some.

how did he handle that? i mean, sheep, etc--that's replaceable, but not people, not your kids. yeah, you can have more kids, as he does, but that doesn't erase the 10 kids he lost in the first chapter of the book.

so, how did Job really feel? how did He trust God the way he did? how did he not get stuck looking back at the past, the rearview mirror of his life and letting that affect his present and future?

lots to think about...