prayer

i'm feeling pretty hot right now. the office is a little warm, but i'm talking about being angry.

A N G R Y

yeah, definitely.

i love working in church and ministry. but sometimes, i hate working with people.

really.

it's ridiculous.

how are we so self centered?

how are we so crazy that we think we know it all?

that each and every individual one of us is right, and everyone else is wrong?

really?

what?

why do we all want our way? why are we so sure that if it went our way, everything would work so well and be good?

why, basically, are we trying to play God?

really, are we crazy?

i'm probably crazy, too, but also definitely M A D.

argh. i hate that. i hate getting so mad at people, and how bent out of shape that i can be too.

i hate that what i see in them, i see in myself too.

why am i so self centered? so selfish? so sure that if things went my way, everything would work out well? so convinced that i have to have the last word, that i have all the answers?

really? ridiculous.

Lord, PLEASE help me to learn in irritating moments and phone calls like this, to learn to see myself through Your eyes and let you grow me to be more like yourself. to love my friends and enemies and friends who act like enemies and enemies that pretend to be friends.

please, PLEASE, teach me to surrender to You and You alone. Please, have mercy on me, and teach me to love others, regardless of the cost. to love and work with a kingdom perspective.

to let go, let go, let go, and trust You.

amen.