ever had one of those awesome moments, so full and good and great and then
something crazy or bad or at least just annoying happens?
just a few minutes ago, i was pulling back into my driveway after a trip to CC's coffee house, happily sipping an extra hot, skinny caramel latte and singing "from the inside out" (hillsong). as i parked the car, the song wrapped up and i had a few sweet moments of genuine praise and connection with God.
then as i was getting out of the car, i hit my hand on the door or something and splashed caramel latte all over myself. thankfully it wasn't from McDonald's or i may be at the ER right now.
small thing, i know, and mainly just annoying, but i somehow knew i had a choice at that moment. my heart, just seconds before, had felt so pure and full, and now the ugly, angry urgings were rearing their ugly heads. i knew i could get mad and grumpy and spout off a few choice words to try and make myself feel better. it was tempting, for sure.
but in a rare moment of clarity, i realized that while my circumstances had changed for the worse, my heart didn't have to. i didn't have to lose my focus on Him, to break the sweet connection that had been so natural moments before. i could choose to let go of how i was feeling, what i was experiencing, and trust that He was still God and still good, even though i had hot, sticky coffee all over my hands.
very small. very simple. very much nothing on the grand scale of things. but, i think that's why it was important. those big moments, where big choices to praise Him in nightmarish storms don't typically happen because of some super-human strength that descends upon us. they come from a life of discipline, of making small choices because we believe that there are big consequences hinging on the sum total of the little things we do.
while the big moments and big choices may seem to define us, the truth is that character is built in the everyday moments when we choose to trust Him more than our selves or our circumstances.
today, i made the right choice. tomorrow, i might not. that won't change who He is, and what He's up to in my life, and for that i'm truly thankful.
on another quick note: spiritual retreat yesterday was amazing. more on that to come.